Deep Roots

I live in the South. The.South.
Have you ever been to the South? It is a strange place. I live in a small-ish town a little over an hour north of Atlanta. It is refereed to as The North Georgia Mountains. Its an odd little place that I am still trying to get used to. They say things that are….we will say, different. I mean sometimes I understand the words just not the way they use them. Things like “cut the light on”(turn the light on) or “jaeatyet”(did you eat yet) Other times they say things, and I feel like they are not speaking English.

They also do things like, ALWAYS letting the “ladies” go first. In line for food, or if you are at the store. On more than one occasion I have had men let me go ahead of them in line at the store. Four way stops are like playing the lottery, you never know what you are going to get. They could run it, or they could let you go first, even though they were clearly there before you.

One of the biggest things I had to get used to was the way men hold the door for me. It was strange. Like everything else, I was not sure how to take this at first. Should I be offended, thankful, or think they were being a little sketchy. Soon though I got used to it. Everywhere I went the door was held for me, and as a self confessed germ-a-phobe it’s a wonderful thing!

Recently though, I was in Florida. Now Florida is a strange mixture of all kinds of people. You would think they are Southern, but they are not and they will make sure you know it! I was out to dinner and had to use the restroom to wash my hands before i had dinner…..germ-a-phobe. So I made my way through the busy restaurant to the restrooms. There was a long hallway you had to walk down to get to them, but first there were two swinging doors. I approached the little swinging doors at the same time as a man and his son. Now, being in the south so long, I assumed that he would pull his son out of the way and politely hold the door for me. I.Was.Wrong. When I approached the doors, I did not even stop. I just kept right on walking,  almost running into the poor child and right into the man. I scowled at him, sarcastically said that I was sorry, and kept on towards the restroom…all the while thinking about how rude this man was and how DARE he not hold the door for me.

Really?!
Y’all, I was so offended that he did not hold the door. EVEN though he had a small child he was trying to maneuver through the large crowd and make his way through two swinging doors. It was his job! Men hold the door. In the south, it’s your job.

So, I make my way to the restroom and wash my hands. All the while thinking about how rude this man was and the audacity he had to not hold the door. Then it hit me. Why? Why, would I think that. Why, would it matter to me if someone held the door. Why, would I assume that he would hold the door.

I had been conditioned to believe that.
I had been conditioned by my environment to believe that men hold the door open for the ladies. I suddenly felt very convicted. It was not his job. It was not even necessary for him to open the doors for me. This made me think about all the other things in my life I have been conditioned to believe. Things I believe about myself, others, the world, God….the list could go on. This sets up a Belief system that we each live our lives by. Some healthy, some not so healthy. We all have those moments where we think or feel a certain way, but I am talking about deep rooted things that we believe with all of our being.

I have come to realize that I have a lot of unhealthy belief’s that I have lived with for a long time. One of these, that God had recently started to work on, is that anyone in leadership cannot be trusted and will just end up hurting me. This is something that is rooted so deep in me and that I learned at a very young age. God has really been speaking to me a lot about how I decided, at a young age, that others cannot be trusted. How I ultimately made a vow to not trust those in authority over me. But, God, in all of his grace, is destroying this deep rooted belief. I am learning to trust and submit to those that God has placed over my life.

As much as my generation and I are coming to the table with the unhealthy beliefs that we have, there are two generations younger than mine that I have been working with how have more. I tell people that my job is to Mobilize a generation, but this is why. This college age generation brings a lot of deep rooted garbage to the table. Some of them know that they have an unhealthy belief system and others do not know. This is why what I do matters. I listen to their life stories and walk with them through a process of preparation. As they prepare for their trip God starts working stuff out in them. Revealing issues, thoughts, hurts, and behaviors he wants to deal with. I love that God uses me to speak truth to the lies, and help them see God for who HE really is.