So, here is another post from Kenya. I know most of the time I share celebrations with you, but today I want to share reality with you. This is why we send college students out, this is why it is important for me to keep doing this. This is why I need your support.
This post is from a participant that is in Kenya right now.
I have been struggling when it comes down to writting this blog, I cannot find the words to share this story that has dug holes in my heart. However my unworthy words will have to make due because this story needs to be shared, needs to be talked about, and needs to be heard.
Children have always had a strong pull on me, so the idea of coming to Kenya and not falling madly in love with all the beautiful kids would have been highly unrealistic. In Mpeketoni, we had children who belonged to the women that cooked in our kitchen coming and going daily. I found myself surrounded by little ones all day long and loved it. Two boys also came and went amoung the crowd, I had no idea who their mother was but assumed she was part of our church. Over time those boys and I developed a mother-son relationship. I fell quickly in love with them, and began seeing them as my own. I started feeding them at breakfast, lunch, and dinner and replacing their ragged, old clothing with new. I found out their mother was our neighbor, and not a Christian woman. Their father is not present and income is low. I was well aware of all that but felt no desire to dig deeper, perhaps I was scared of what else their lives might contain but over all it didn't matter... they were my boys!
Freddie grabbed my heart at his first spilt drink as I washed him and the floor clean (that happened often). He is four years old and the best big brother, Felix, could ask for. Felix is two years old and loves to color...mostly on himself. The two never were apart, they were one. Every morning I would go get them from across the dirt road where their home was and we would eat breakfast. Every afternoon Fredie and I worked on his ABC's and colors, while Felix ate snack and often fell asleep. I was starting finding myself worrying about what would happen to them when I left.
One evening while I was sick and laying in my bed with the window open I heard the screams of Freddie and Felix. One of their daily jobs was to take water jugs to the church and fill them up for their mother. Felix had dropped a full jug of water in the direction of the faucet, breaking it. Freddie took the blame but it wasn't enough. I heard them both being beaten and bruised from my bedroom; I will never forget the sound of their screams. The next morning I went to get them and spent most of the morning bandaging them and cleaning their wounds.
I realized how big the issues ran, and I couldn't leave them. I decided to figure out more about their mother. I sat down with Bishop and asked questions while he slowly answered them. Freddie and Felix are both from different fathers and live in a one room dirt floor apartment. Often times they get locked into that apartment during the night while their mother goes out and works as a prostitute. Sometimes she comes home really messed up and Freddie or Felix pay for it. She makes only enough to feed them a cup of porridge to share a day, if she choses to feed them at all. They will not get sent to school, and their mother is pregnant again as we speak. I believe I prayed more for my boys that night than ever before.
I question what God is doing when I think about Freddie and Felix. I don't understand why He lets things go so far or why the innocent pay. It's a hard concept for me to grasp. Sometimes I even become angry with Him. I know I am in the wrong for doing that but Freddie's face says it all. Where is the hope for them? Where is their saftey? Comfort? Love? Let alone the food? Shelter? And clean water?
I would take my boys back with me to America in a heart beat, but that is not an option that is possible. Do I give up? Do I just pray? Do I rescue them? What do I do?
So I have told you a bit about why I need supported and why I know that you can invest in a bigger way than you know. But, here is what our teams deal with everyday, and why I think I can see Africa from my desk today.
Again, consider investing into this ministry, there is no way you will regret changing a child's life!
This blog comes from a member of the Swazi team that went out this past fall......Enjoy.
Dear Swazi Child,
I sat with you in my arms today at the care point. You slept, you cried, you looked into my eyes with bewilderment. You probably have no idea where I am from and honestly I only have a glimpse of your life. You have no idea that my refrigerator is full at home and I still say there is nothing to eat; yet you never know when or how much you will get to eat. You have no idea that I have running water at home and sometimes I let the water run too long and that overuse could be enough to satisfy your thirsty for days. You have no idea that I have never felt true hunger nor have I ever had to go without food. You have no idea what it is like to always have enough.
On the other hand I can only imagine your life. I met you at a place that is not your home that you come to to be fed, and from that fact I can gather that your family does not have enough food to feed you at home. Do you even have parents or someone to take care of you? What do you do at night when there's no food? Is there anyone to hold you? Who calms you when you are scared and you have bad dreams? Who helps you bathe or do you even get to bathe? Do you have any toys? Or are all of your toys made out of sticks and plastic bags? Do you even know what a toy truck or a baby doll is?
Has anyone told you how beautiful you are today? Or ever? Has anyone told you how much God loves you? Has anyone told you that you can be anything you want when you grow up?
Well since I do not know if anyone has told you and it never hurts to hear it again GOD loves you and so do I! I am thankful for our time together. My arms are open for you to rest for a while if you are tired. Be a kid for a few hours and play games. Laugh as much as you can despite your circumstances. Let me love you through God's heart.
I know it seems crazy but God really has sent me here to love you. I know your circumstances at times may not show how much God loves you but he does. I pray it really sinks into your brain and heart how much God loves you.
Well I will see you tomorrow at the care point. I will rest my arms tonight so they are ready to embrace you with love tomorrow.
I thought I would take some time and look back on the last 12 months. I have been at AIM now for 12 months this week. Its strange to think how fast time has flown by. I feel like I just started last week.
The past 12 months have been a whirlwind of phone calls, paper work, training camp, tears, and changed lives. Its been a year of mobilizing several groups of college students onto the mission field,and then watching their lives change through their blogs. I have shared their stories with you in past few blogs I have written.
Some highlights from the last years worth of teams...
Kenya- like I have written about many times, met and lived with some tribes and watched as years of bitterness vanished from a mans life because of rain. Then the teams that followed them got to go back and help God transform a community!
Africa Expedition- Last summer we had a small team traveling throughout Africa. They hiked all over the country and would listen to the Lord for what to do next. You want to be inspired, and get a feel for how hard core some of out trips are? Read their blog www./expedition.adventures.org. You will not regret it!
Uganda- We have sent several teams there to work in a ministry that helps and rehabilitates the victims of child soldiers. You can be praying for Uganda, they have elections this month and things can get out of hand very quickly.
Southeast Asia and India- We have been sending teams into these place for a while now. Their main purpose you ask. The sex trafficking industry. We send teams to work with victims of Human trafficking. They do everything from teaching English to helping these ladies realize there is a Father in Heaven who loves them with a different kind of Love then they have even known.
This past year has come with challenge, growth and a huge amount of change. In January the Real Life Admission Department actually became a team. Real Life Admin. went from just me to me and TWO others! Its awesome to be working in a team. Its funny to think that a few months ago I thought my job was so busy. Now that I have about a third of the responsibility that I had before you would think I have all kinds of spare time....hardly! The Real Life department is growing like crazy with college students who are eager to give a part of their life to serving God on the mission field. I am still doing interview scheduling and make the decision on who goes and who should maybe not go. On a normal day we would have maybe 7 interviews, then a few weeks ago I felt like I was crazy busy because I was having to schedule 12 interviews a day. Well, I am excited to say that last week I scheduled 22 interview IN ONE DAY! God is doing something huge in the lives of college students!
I really love what I do and looking back on the last year, I really can not imagine my life any different. I get to work and live in a community that loves God, speaks life, and teaches me new things everyday. I must say thank you to all of those who have supported me. I can not do this with out you! Last year your support made all of this possible. So while you read this and think, "that's nice. Look at what these college kids are doing." YOU are actually doing this! The seeds you sow you will reap, and you have sown deep seeds into the lives of college students as well as many areas all over the world.
So I ask again for you to prayerfully consider financially supporting me again this year. Not for me, but for those who need to hear that God loves them, has a plan for them, and can restore all the lost things in their life. I need to raise about 10,000 total for the year. WHOA I know, seems like a lot, but its so worth the life change and the ministry that is happening all over the world.
Please let me know if you are interested in supporting me! I would love to talk to you more about options. Or you can just click on the nice little link at the top left of this page that says "Support Me"
I live in the South. The.South. Have you ever been to the South? It is a strange place. I live in a small-ish town a little over an hour north of Atlanta. It is refereed to as The North Georgia Mountains. Its an odd little place that I am still trying to get used to. They say things that are....we will say, different. I mean sometimes I understand the words just not the way they use them. Things like "cut the light on"(turn the light on) or "jaeatyet"(did you eat yet) Other times they say things, and I feel like they are not speaking English.
They also do things like, ALWAYS letting the "ladies" go first. In line for food, or if you are at the store. On more than one occasion I have had men let me go ahead of them in line at the store. Four way stops are like playing the lottery, you never know what you are going to get. They could run it, or they could let you go first, even though they were clearly there before you.
One of the biggest things I had to get used to was the way men hold the door for me. It was strange. Like everything else, I was not sure how to take this at first. Should I be offended, thankful, or think they were being a little sketchy. Soon though I got used to it. Everywhere I went the door was held for me, and as a self confessed germ-a-phobe it's a wonderful thing!
Recently though, I was in Florida. Now Florida is a strange mixture of all kinds of people. You would think they are Southern, but they are not and they will make sure you know it! I was out to dinner and had to use the restroom to wash my hands before i had dinner.....germ-a-phobe. So I made my way through the busy restaurant to the restrooms. There was a long hallway you had to walk down to get to them, but first there were two swinging doors. I approached the little swinging doors at the same time as a man and his son. Now, being in the south so long, I assumed that he would pull his son out of the way and politely hold the door for me. I.Was.Wrong. When I approached the doors, I did not even stop. I just kept right on walking, almost running into the poor child and right into the man. I scowled at him, sarcastically said that I was sorry, and kept on towards the restroom...all the while thinking about how rude this man was and how DARE he not hold the door for me.
Really?! Y'all, I was so offended that he did not hold the door. EVEN though he had a small child he was trying to maneuver through the large crowd and make his way through two swinging doors. It was his job! Men hold the door. In the south, it's your job.
So, I make my way to the restroom and wash my hands. All the while thinking about how rude this man was and the audacity he had to not hold the door. Then it hit me. Why? Why, would I think that. Why, would it matter to me if someone held the door. Why, would I assume that he would hold the door.
I had been conditioned to believe that. I had been conditioned by my environment to believe that men hold the door open for the ladies. I suddenly felt very convicted. It was not his job. It was not even necessary for him to open the doors for me. This made me think about all the other things in my life I have been conditioned to believe. Things I believe about myself, others, the world, God....the list could go on. This sets up a Belief system that we each live our lives by. Some healthy, some not so healthy. We all have those moments where we think or feel a certain way, but I am talking about deep rooted things that we believe with all of our being.
I have come to realize that I have a lot of unhealthy belief's that I have lived with for a long time. One of these, that God had recently started to work on, is that anyone in leadership cannot be trusted and will just end up hurting me. This is something that is rooted so deep in me and that I learned at a very young age. God has really been speaking to me a lot about how I decided, at a young age, that others cannot be trusted. How I ultimately made a vow to not trust those in authority over me. But, God, in all of his grace, is destroying this deep rooted belief. I am learning to trust and submit to those that God has placed over my life.
As much as my generation and I are coming to the table with the unhealthy beliefs that we have, there are two generations younger than mine that I have been working with how have more. I tell people that my job is to Mobilize a generation, but this is why. This college age generation brings a lot of deep rooted garbage to the table. Some of them know that they have an unhealthy belief system and others do not know. This is why what I do matters. I listen to their life stories and walk with them through a process of preparation. As they prepare for their trip God starts working stuff out in them. Revealing issues, thoughts, hurts, and behaviors he wants to deal with. I love that God uses me to speak truth to the lies, and help them see God for who HE really is.
So lately I have been telling you about these teams the I mobilized out to Kenya. This is a blog that one of their leaders, Nick, wrote the other day! God is doing crazy things and I love that my job is what gets these kids there....well God too :)
Read on!
I have made a few enhancements to the text....its long, but worth the read
Blog Post from Nick Hindes on 10/1
In the deserts of the heart Let the healing fountain start, In the prisons of his days Teach the free men how to praise.
-W. H. Auden
Which
is more liberating, seeing a 70-year-old man gain back his eye sight
after 14 years of blindness or to watch the same man release all
bitterness to the Father that created him?
Two
weeks have passed since our initial emigration to a country, that we
previously knew so little about. Eleven days have been spent visiting
two very distinct and different tribes: the Masai and the Turkana. Both
live off the beaten track of "normal" civilization, and forgo many
modern conveniences in order to preserve culture, heritage, and history.
Much of the time has been spent visiting homes and "evangelizing" to
those who may not know about the grace so freely given. The usual
responses vary from exuberant yes's and no's with the tag-line, "It is
not my time." Most times, frustration ensues. That was until,
yesterday...
...this was the day my team came in contact with
Mussa, a member of the Masai tribe located in the Rift Valley. Upon
first glance, one could assume he has trouble with his legs as he uses
two very short walking sticks to stabilize his movement. If you looked
into his eyes, you could see the cloudiness hindering his natural sight.
Yet, what is not so evident, is the frustrationandbitterness for his
current plight.
You see in about 1997, Mussa was an alcoholic. He
and multitude of others drank beer that at the time, did not meet
regulations and was for all intensive purposes, tainted. Everyone who
consumed this tainted beer, died, that is, except, Mussa. He was cursed
with blindness, at least that is his general sentiment. This instant
disability sparked him to accept Christ, but not for his love and grace.
He accepted out of fear, anger, and bitterness. In short, he was being
punished for what he did so he felt he needed God in order to keep away
the flames of hell.
What was not so evident was that this
bitterness was brewing inside of him as a stronghold, in fact the
bitterness was coupled with anger and hostility so he felt no freedom.
He wanted to be free. but couldn't let go of the "wormwood" that was
poisoning his bones...
...this is what God was showing and
explaining to me. I saw such love and desire for this kindly grandfather
that God called worthy, accepted, holy, and loved. I began to ask
questions and then we began to see his countenance change as shame
caused him to lower his head. We then asked if we could pray for him and
lay hands upon him. In a shallow voice, he replied, "Yes."
At
that moment, the Holy Spirit said, "You will see a miracle today that
until now, you have never seen before. Let your team know that anything
is possible through Me."
We laid hands upon his weak joints and
eyes, and began to call forth blessing, honor, and forgiveness in his
life. As we prayed, he convulsed as if he was uncomfortable or had a
stomach ache. At the end of the prayer, he turned to us with tears in
his eyes and said, "I need to throw something up."
Our translator
helped him over to a rubbish pile where he threw up some algae-colored
liquid. In that moment, God revealed that we saw Him purge bitterness
out of a man's soul, by physically forcing the "wormwood" to the
surface.
After this his countenance changed for a second time to
reveal his true heart of repentance and admiration for the Father which
created him. Love, joy, and peace were pouring out of him as his face
shone with radiance. From this day forward, he will never be the same
again.
People will probably ask why didn't he receive physical healing? Was he not full of faith? Were we lacking faith?
To
my chagrin, I would say that I think God chose this as a day where He
wanted to restore a man to a right relationship with Him. In a way,
healing a heart was better than a gaining physical sight back.
And well if I have missed the point, then well, I flew three thousand miles to completely miss the point.
I wanted to send out a follow up to the last blog that I posted.
I shared a story about one of the teams that I mobilized. This team went to Kenya and were asked to go into a village and do ministry. This team had a lot of opposition because the village had been in a drought and the people there could not understand how a God who loved them would let the crops wither and the animals die. They challenged the team because they knew they had no voice to shard about the Lord if there was no rain. SO, they prayed and they prayed for rain. AND IT RAINED! It rained so much so, their tents and sleeping mats started to float away and they ended up staying in one tiny mud hut all together. God made it rain because he wanted to show them how much He LOVED THEM.
I just mobilized another team and sent them off to Kenya. Three days after arriving in Kenya their Pastor and contact for ministry, sent them straight out into the bush to stay with this same village! They got there and soon found out that this small bush village was in the midst of another drought. To rewind just a little, we tell the story of praying for rain at the training camps to show how God still does crazy things and his crazy love for HIS people. So this new team remembers hearing how the last team just prayed and it rained, so with no hesitation they prayed, and it rained, and rained, all over again! It rained so much that the people i and the pastors there started saying "when AIM comes, the rain comes."
Now we know that is silly and that God just has his own way of doing things, but I am asking you to pray. Pray for this team, for the leaders, and for the people of this village. I know that God has so much more for these people! This team we just sent out to Kenya will be traveling a bit. I am asking that you pray for the spiritual leaders that are in this village. That they would see and know how good our God is!! That they would no longer be surprised when God shows up. That they would be so captured by the Lord that they could not contain this new life they have found in HIM.
So it's been a LONG
while since I have written an update. Life has been crazy the last 9 months.
The Lord has done some great things in my life, but honestly, God has brought
me through a hard season- A season of growing and learning more about the heart
of God, a season where I had to tell myself, “at the end of it all, God is
still a good God.”This season included
some of the hardest months of my life. It was so different for me, I had to
struggle through disappointment. I was thinking about disappointment the other
day, looking back at my life, and realized that I have never really had to
struggle through that. Before these last 9 months I don't think I had ever been
truly disappointed. Sure there were little let downs but, for the most part,
they were selfish things.
When I sent out my
last update I told everyone that I was signing away 2 years of my life. Two
years of leading college aged mission trips around the world. Things have
changed a little J I
still work with the college age department, Real Life, but I work in the
Admissions Department. Yes, I sit behind a desk. Yes, I talk on the phone all
day, and YES I love it! I get to talk to college age students all day long. I
walk with them through their fears, doubts and joys of preparing for their
trip. These students go on 2 month and semester long trips around the world!
We have one trip that
was just in Kenya and God totally rocked this team. They were out in the bush
(camping of sorts) and trying to minister to all the people they could. One man
in the area they were in asked them how their God could love so much? You see
the valley he lived in had been in a drought for years. He explained how he
just could not understand a “loving God” and how he had been all over the place
looking for a god to make it rain and had come up empty handed. So, the team
prayed and prayed and prayed, and it rained. It rained for 3 days straight. It
rained so much that the tents this team called home started to float away and
they had to move into one small mud hut.Well, it finally stops
raining and eventually this team runs into that same man who just could not
understand a God who loves. This man looked at them with fear, and a listening
ear. He was scared of them a little but he wanted to know who their God was,
because if He made it rain then he wanted to know their God!
So this is my life. I
do sit behind a desk and I don't travel all the time on the field. I love what
I do and the stories from the field make sitting at my desk answering
questions, counseling, and praying worth it all. I am still in a support raised
position but need significantly less than before. 800 is what I need to raise a
month. I only need to raise 50% of my salary, which is nice!
I am asking for you
to partner with me in this venture! I am asking for a few monthly supporters at
$100 a month, then a few more for $50 a month.
I am still in need of about $300 a month. Please pray and consider investing in Gods Kingdom through me!
Once that is reached I will be
funded, exciting! I know that's a lot for many people, so anything you feel led
to give is fantastic! So some of you have been supporters in the past and I
would really love if you would partner with me again for the next 12 months!
All of you, as supporters, have been so amazing!
AIM has been in Swazi for a long time now. I sit behind a desk so that these things can happen. Football players go to Swazi, but so do College age students. Real Life has college age students in 10 different countries right now.
Watch this video, be encourage, and pray about how you can support me!
Gods favor, what does that even mean, who has it,
who doesn't, or does it ever work that way
Feeling alone in a moment and wondering if I will always feel like this
The doubt that sometime consumes my thoughts, maybe a little fear
My own thoughts and assumptions
Looking forward to things
Foundational truths that I know
God loves me
God wants to be my friend
I can trust God no matter what
God has a plan, a good plan for my life
My obedience is necessary
I need community, I can no longer live without it
God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind
The Holy Spirit lives inside me
My God is a good God
So the truth always wins over the lies.
The lies only last a moment, feeling down only lasts so long.
God really does bless His people with an unspeakable JOY.
So if you have been following my blog you know that I should have left for Mexico yesterday and be there now. Well things don't always work out the way you think they should and support for me is one of those things. I know God is calling me to mission, and specifically here with AIM and in Real Life, but for now I am still in Georgia waiting on the Lord.
Waiting for the Lord is not easy.
Support, to be really honest, sucks.
And to be even more honest I don't really want to even raise support, but God calls us to a life of obedience, a full life is promised to us when we are obedient.
So with the departure of the rest of the leadership team I was on and the Novas Project kids on there way to Mexico, I sit here in Georgia and wait for the Lord.
What am I waiting for you ask, maybe new motivation, new direction, or maybe, just maybe waiting on Gods timing. I can be a little impatient with God. (And I know some of you that just read that are laughing a little)
How can you pray you ask?....I'm so glad you asked :)
Peace Patience
Financial support, that God would really make it clear to those He already has in mind.
That my heart would change and not long for this, if this mission thing is not what God wants
That the truth of God's Word would be so much louder than the doubt and lies I am currently hearing and feeling.
So this is my heart right now, its hard for me to put it all into words, this is the best I can do for now. I don't really let myself get excited for things, and this was something that I was ready and excited for, I know God is calling me to something, and I am really sure this is it, so if in your prayers you get a word for me or anything, please pass it along to me :)
Those lazy days when we would make french toast at 10 and watch cooking shows on PBS.
When we would fight over what movie to watch and you would inevitably say,
"We are NOT watching Liar Liar or Get Shorty!"
Shopping all day for shoes,
or whatever we felt like.
Convincing her that she was just as beautiful as I thought she was!
Random ice cream runs.
Random Pizza ordering cuz no one wanted to cook.
Random runs to Good Times....
Setting up the house at Christmas,
the tree, the lights,
ALL the ordiments going back years.
Laughing and arguing over Elvis Christmas music,
and then what movie to watch, White Christmas,
or Its a Wonderful Life.
Never really setteling the argument
but I think The Grinch ended being on,
with much objection might I add :)
Staying up way to late watching silly re-runs like MASH, Fraiser, Everybodys loves Ray, I could go on..
Coming home and knowing that she was there, she would ask how I was and really want to know.
Watching her play silly games on the computer and hit the buttons so much that we thought for sure the keyboard would break.
Licorice
Sunflower seeds
Wondering where I had left all my shoes and realizing they were all in the hall closet, she had put them there.
Driving to our vacation destination and her reading to the whole car, but the books were too funny, and she would just laugh and laugh, so hard in fact that we could not understand her.
Puzzles
When she is so tired she laughs really hard at really random things like "what is this a joke?"
Mom I love you a lot, and I want you to know that you mean a whole lot to me!
On the other hand I can only imagine your life. I met you at a place that is not your home that you come to to be fed, and from that fact I can gather that your family does not have enough food to feed you at home. Do you even have parents or someone to take care of you? What do you do at night when there's no food? Is there anyone to hold you? Who calms you when you are scared and you have bad dreams? Who helps you bathe or do you even get to bathe? Do you have any toys? Or are all of your toys made out of sticks and plastic bags? Do you even know what a toy truck or a baby doll is?
